Why?
by Gipdac
Summary: As RJ and Heather get married, Hammy slowly becomes more and more depressed, and even considers suicide...
1. Prologue: The Wedding

WHY?

Harmony and me

We're pretty good company

Looking for an island

In our boat upon the sea

-Elton John, Harmony

Prologue

Hammy stood from a distance, watching the wedding take place. _RJ and Heather's Wedding. _He tried to hold back tears as they kissed and embraced. His heart ached with pain and sorrow.

_At least RJ's happy…_

Then, he turned around. He couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He walked over to the TV, and picked something up. It was a photo album.

He slowly opened it up. There were pictures of him and RJ together, smiling at the camera. He turned the page. There were pictures of RJ and with Heather together, smiling instead.

His heart pounded with a combination of anger and grief. Teardrops rolled down his face, and dripped onto the picture covers.

_I've got to get out of here…_

He pressed the album up against his chest. He stared into the vast distance. Who knows where the humongous forest might end up leading him?

_Anywhere but here sounds just fine to me…_

Carrying the album, he ran off into the distance…


	2. Lost In Darkness

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

-Gary Jules, Mad World

Chapter 1

Hammy slowly wandered through the night. The vast forest spread all around him, and the dark shadows made the trees seem alive. In the distance, he could still hear his friends, calling out for him.

_I can't let them see me like this…Especially not RJ…_

He didn't know where he was going, just that it was far away from everyone else. He had finally stopped crying, but his heart still pounded painfully inside of his chest. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hammy?"

Hammy turned around. RJ was standing there staring at him, a look of honest concern on his face.

"Are you okay, Hamsquad?"

"Just leave me alone…"

"…I know, Hammy."

Hammy jerked around, surprised.

"Wh…What?"

"I've known for a while now, Hammy."

"How?"

"You're my best friend. I could just tell."

"Do you-"

"Hammy, we're just friends. You're a friend of mine."

Hammy had been starting to feel better, but at that moment even more pain filled both his heart and his head.

RJ held out his hand to Hammy.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go back. The others are worried about you."

Hammy paused for a moment, and then reluctantly took RJ's hand. They both walked back to the hedge together.


	3. The Thoughts

I've been through the desert

On a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

-America, Horse With No Name

Chapter 2

Two weeks went by, and with each passing day, Hammy was slowly growing more and more depressed.

_Why doesn't he like me? What's wrong me with?_

His chest still pounded, and he knew it was his aching heart. He was deep in thought, thinking about him and RJ together, when all of a sudden, RJ and Heather both stood up.

"Everyone," RJ said loudly, "We both have an announcement to make. We're going to have a baby!"

Everyone but Hammy clapped. Everyone but Hammy was happy for them. He would have, but at that moment, he had felt his already-aching heart break.

He turned around, and slowly walked away to where he slept. He felt horrible. He felt like he just wanted to crawl into a small log and die.

_I can't take it anymore. Please…Just make it go away…_

At that moment, Hammy thought of something he had never, and had never wanted to, think of before. _Suicide._

But, as soon as the thought entered into his mind, he quickly and fiercely shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. Not one bit.

Then, as his heart pounded loudly(in his mind, at least), he slowly started to let the horrible thoughts enter into his head again…


	4. The Decision

Day after day

Time after time

You broke my (heart)

-Ozzy Osbourne, Time After Time

Chapter 3

Hammy sat alone in his tree, hugging himself into a pitiful, curled slump. His heart had broken, and he had nothing to live for anymore.

_Damn that Heather…I hate her! I HATE HER!!!_

The thoughts of suicide were now flowing through his mind. He had thought of basically all kinds. Gun. Hanging. Poison. Drowning. Jumping from the tree. All those kinds.

He wanted to do it, but with all the others there…He just couldn't do that to them. They were his family, and he loved them all greatly. He never, ever wanted to hurt him.

He looked down at the ground. RJ and Heather were kissing, and his glance turned into a glare as they crawled into a bush.

_How could she do this? She knew I loved RJ, and she did this! SHE DID THIS TO ME!!!_

Before, he was thinking rationally, because he was thinking of his family. But now, he stopped thinking straight. He decided on the choice, and thus began thinking out how he would do it…


	5. The Beginning Of The End

Everybody's talkin' at me

I don't hear a word they're saying

Only the echoes of my mind

-Neil Diamond, Everybody's Talkin'

Chapter 4

Hammy finished tying the hanging knot. There was no real expression on his face. It was just solemn, blank. He looked at the note in his hand. He dropped it to the ground. He sighed as he began to step up the ladder towards the hanging noose…

RJ looked around. He was playing videogames with the Porcupine kids, and Hammy was usually with them.

Today, however, he was nowhere to be seen. With all that had happened, RJ began to feel nervous.

"Where's Hammy?"

Quillo looked up at him.

"I don't know. He's been acting really weird lately, though. He was on a website earlier, called "To Die" or something. He was learning how to tie a knot…"

RJ jumped up, and started running toward the tree Hammy always hung around. He had figured it out, and he had to get there in time…

Hammy stood at the top step of the ladder. He slowly and reluctantly slipped the noose around his neck, and sighed again.

_I love you, RJ. I always have, and I always will love you. Oh, God, how I love you…_

He gulped, and quickly jumped off the ladder as the noose gripped tightly around his neck…

RJ ran toward the tree. He just had to stop him.

_This is my fault…It's all my fault…_

Then, he stopped. He stared up at the tree in horror, and his heart skipped a beat. He saw Hammy's hanging body, and at that moment, to his horror, he knew that he was too late…


	6. Epilogue: And Thus It Ends

Evil thoughts and evil doings

Cold, alone you hang in ruins

Thought that you'd escape the Reaper

You can't escape the Master Keeper

-Ozzy Osbourne, Suicide Solution

Epilogue

RJ ran up the ladder, and, using his sharp canines, cut the noose off. He grabbed Hammy's limp body, and carried it to the ground. He pressed his hand up against Hammy's chest, listening for a heartbeat. There was nothing. Next, RJ tried his pulse, but still, to no avail.

Tears formed in RJ's eyes as he pounded Hammy's chest, trying to revive him. He even tried CPR on him, but nothing worked. RJ knew he was too late. He held Hammy's body close, hugging it tightly.

RJ stared into Hammy's closed eyes. They had never opened since he had tried to revive him. A look of peace, of contentment, was on Hammy's face. Tears poured down RJ's face, and dripped onto the fur of Hammy's chest. RJ continued crying over his best friend.

"I'm so sorry, little buddy. I'm so sorry. And, if you can hear me, I just want you to know, that deep down, I did love you. You were, and you always will be, my best friend. I love you, Hammy. Goodbye…"

RJ buried Hammy's body, and arranged the whole funeral. It was, and still is, the most beautiful funeral anybody had ever seen.

And, on the tombstone, RJ wrote:

HAMMY

1986-2007

BEST FRIEND

END


	7. Hammy's Suicide Note

Hammy's Suicide Note:

Dear RJ,

Please forgive me. I just can't take anything anymore. I love you, RJ, and I do hope Heather makes you very happy. Goodbye.

Love,

Hammy


End file.
